cardinal virtue & unconditional love

The four cardinal virtues: fortitude, prudence, temperance, and justice; provide a compass to navigate moral decision in a morally opaque landscape. These virtues have been espoused and developed for thousands of years, guiding decisions of men, chiseling away foolishness, revealing character.

How does one etch these virtues into character? A stoic might say: conscious repetition of action within specific situations of one’s life experienced. These situations experienced are mixed with a variance of additional ingredients with their own accord, providing pressure motivating one’s behavior away from the virtuous track held in one’s mind and heart. Emotions, capitol vice, & fear all threaten to steer a man’s path from virtue at any given moment of decision. Maintaining this course is the challenge of the stoic virtue ethicist, operationalizing his compass of cardinal virtue into action during moments of emotional duress. This means he must identify when he is overcome with fear/self-serving desire and choose action counterpoise to what he feels in that moment. If self-serving emotion can strongly influence one’s track from a plotted course of virtue; could it also entrench one to stay the course of virtue? If so, what emotion would more coherently entrain one to the virtuous path?

Reality appears to be oriented into polarized duality: man & woman, yin & yang, positive & negative, light & dark, good & evil, hot & cold, service to self & service to others; energy in the form of coiled force oscillate between the poles creating magic action that is life experience in 3rd density reality. If this is so, then how is virtue, vice, and one’s emotional states organized within this dualistic context?

All virtues are downstream of the frequency of unconditional love & all capitol vice(sin) is downstream of fear. If this premise is true, then the stoic philosopher can relax his relentless effort to apply the blueprint of chosen virtue to every situation clouded by self-serving emotion; he can instead focus on attuning to the frequency of unconditional love and guide his actions from that start point. Each choice/action guided by the frequency of unconditional love will naturally flow through the downstream channels of cardinal virtue and manifest as virtuous behavior. Antithetically, all choice/action downstream from the frequency of fear will naturally flow through the channels of capitol vice(sin) and manifest behavior as such.

With this understanding, the stoic philosopher can then singularly focus on feeling unconditional love as a start point of choice/action and confirm the action as virtuous with the ethical compass that is the four cardinal virtues after the fact. This changes the function of cardinal virtue from present moment compass to after the fact measuring tool. From my perspective, a much more time appropriate function of cardinal virtue given the complexity of application.

heroes & horses leadership summer of 2024

Somewhere during the course of this class I’ve come to realize my role is not that of a “class leader” but that of a student leader. Realization that the students and student leaders are on the same path, separated by one year of time. Realization that this one year of time, from the moment I graduated class 2 of 2023 until the moment of arrival as a student leader, is the only subject matter that I could speak to with any expertise, and even that perspective would be subjective.

It would seem that most people hold perspective that associates suffering with discomfort, pain, tragedy, or sorrow generally experienced counter to the will of the experiencer. I favor an alternate definition: to suffer is to undergo an external agent. This definition shifts the perception of the act of suffering into a different light, not always something to be avoided or resisted, but an experience that can be undertaken willingly, even if imposed externally. This perspective sheds light on the opportunities for growth presented by suffering, whether self-imposed or by external circumstance. We have suffered with purpose, and we have done so together as a team. Together we have learned to feel our way toward happiness; to set down our externally informed intellectual designs and trust our feelings to guide us like the soft green glow of a compass in darkness. We have learned and practiced recognizing troubles, denials, and setbacks of life as our teachers, guides, and allies. Recognizing these situations as a cosmic mirror, reflecting improvable areas within our own being; an opportunity to better know thyself.

The the light of these reflections will thaw the ice holding our higher Self frozen within; elevating internal frequency that it may resonate with love through the darkness of material reality. Allowing this newfound frequency of love to permeate our thoughts, which informs our actions, cultivates into habit, & over time defines our character. Through the concert of intention, time, & pressure we chisel away excess leaving the character of the men we envision and desire to be for family, friends, tribe, & country. Character that reveals the illuminated path of a spiritual warrior, guiding us forward through the dark times we are sure to encounter in future’s present; undergoing these necessary trials with ease and hearts full of love.

“Lift up the self by the Self,

And don’t let the self droop down,

For the Self is the self’s only friend,

And the self is the Self’s only foe.”

-an ancient Nordic poem.

mustang & rider / conscious observer & mind

My first experience on a horse was summer of 2023 at the Heroes & Horses ranch, Montana. The double H ranch can be described in three words: horse, warrior, monastery. A program for veterans seeking to transform themselves within a 41-day crucible of sobriety, self-reflection, and effort through the aperture of the human/horse connection. 41 days of early mornings, workouts, breathwork, meditation, sauna, cold plunges, hours of horsemanship, ranch work, chores, and campfire conversations of past experiences, failures, emotion, stoicism, and truth.

The program is richly stocked with humans of the highest order of generosity, freely giving their time and knowledge for the sake of those attending; contributing to provide an environment meant to help others realize their destiny and thus the destiny for the generations following. Micah’s words: “repurposed horses for repurposed humans”. The horses are mustangs, once wild, now recovered into partnership and service with humanity. The men attending are combat veterans who have fought and killed in service to the nation, now within reach of opportunity to recover and take their place within a brotherhood in service to humanity, a brotherhood of warriors.

A mustang can be saddled but their spirited nature remains unbroken. This requires each rider to transform from within and become a mustang’s leader, shaping conditional boundaries by enacting corrections from a place of love. We are talking a lot of corrections; so many corrections that a rider’s patience will be tested daily, hourly, and sometimes minute to minute. To become a mustang’s leader, a rider must not doubt himself, must not hate himself, he will continually reinforce aligned boundaries providing competent guidance through horsemanship while simultaneously accepting their own incompetence nebulously entwined with a mustang’s inclination to insist on its own agenda: to munch grass, to be with his friends, to spook at a hat blowing off in the wind, to blow up in wild eyed fear of a seemingly mundane circumstance. A rider must learn to keep their heels down/elbows in/hands forward, remain balanced in the saddle, and most importantly breathe for a calm heart. Perhaps more importantly still, to smile at the times the mustang being “lead” takes a rider for an unplanned, high velocity excursion with his team as witness. The horsemanship skills taught at H&H are superlative, but the lesson that stands out the most: a rider chooses his attitude toward uncertainty, chaos, fear, anger, and frustration.  

Eight months have passed since drinking the “magic elixir” in Montana. Some momentum successfully carried from the program back to resumed life and while there has been successful grafting of useful practices transferred, old habits die hard and backslide occurs. This is the nature of progress along the upward path. Time since the crucible provided by H&H proves that there is no external “magic elixir” gifted from a punchy-cowboy-alchemist that will radically transform reality to a desired life design. External reality will spook, become wild eyed, and blow up in front of all your friends. Tragedy, failure, loneliness, and heartbreak are sure to be just around the bend on the trail ahead; while we cannot control these experiences appropriately featured in life, there is freedom in choosing attitude within the experience. We can choose to keep our heels down, reigns taught, making corrections from love with an open heart. We can choose to soften our hearts to external insult and judgement. We can choose to forgive our past selves for the self-induced “unfair” circumstances crashing in on our lives like 40-foot waves.  

On reflection there is realization of an analogous relationship between the mustang/rider and the biological mind/conscious observer within. The mind is the mustang; wild eyed, intuitive, in need of competent training based in virtue deciphered by intellect. If ungoverned, the mind is ready to run wild without direction, at best taking us down behavioral roads of inefficient living. Worse, running us off a cliff at the sight of a snake and worse yet, being coopted by the insidious entities/organizations acting as gods on earth serving only themselves at the expense of others. The conscious observer is the rider; is the leader whose duty it is to provide virtuous guidance for the mind(mustang), to make corrections from love, to forgive the mind for dangerous hardship that it creates when left ungoverned or inappropriately attended. At H&H it is taught to ride for the horse, not the task, not the experience, and not for the appearance of competence. As it is the conscious observer within whose duty it is to do the same for the mind. The mustang and rider are in this adventure together and will best thrive within the experience if working in aligned unison.  

Understanding this formula and acting is the magical elixir. The human being is the cup in which the magic elixir is catalyzed. Perhaps the fabled “holy grail” is a symbolic metaphor for this cup. The work to craft the elixir is appropriately simple, arduous, and ongoing; a winding path through intuition, emotion, intellect, time, and space leading one away from the comforts of homeostasis that our biological mind(mustang) is constantly seeking. Action informed by virtue, reinforced over time shapes behavior, which forms habit, and finally cultivates character. This process occurs in all aspects of life, good habits or bad, mastery or foolishness. The magical elixir once drunk is not instantaneous or permanent. The crafting of the elixir within us takes time and pressure to effect change in destiny. One’s willingness or willpower provides the necessary internal pressure on this alchemical mixture. Willpower is comprised of emotional desire(fuel) combined with expectant belief(faith). The amount of willpower brought to bear will appropriately determine the internal pressure on visualized design manifesting reality. These are the alchemical ingredients to the “magical elixir” of destiny. It is up to the conscious observer within us to continually brew the destiny we envision ourselves to be within the cup we have been given in context to the circumstances encountered.  

A mindset offered: hold your future-self to unbound expectation, extend your past-self abundant grace, and fill the present with expeditious action and relentless effort.

on suffering & discipline

To suffer is to undergo; usually by an external agent. Discipline is self-imposed suffering with intelligent design oriented toward greater purpose. Feelings experienced while suffering are the death throes of addiction to homeostatic comfort within oneself. It is not a matter of if we will suffer in this life but how and why we will suffer. So then, one must conclude that effort to avoid suffering is null and what matters most is one’s chosen attitude toward the suffering, whether external or self-imposed. Aristotelian virtue ethics would indicate that attitude is a mindset/outlook that can be practiced and cultivated into becoming one’s character. So then, if suffering at the will of external reality is inevitable and what matters most is how we suffer: then to condition oneself through practiced discipline in preparation for this eventuality must be both good and necessary. With this understanding, it is best to practice chosen disciplines with a heart full of purpose, a good temperament, and a stoic mindset in order to best prepare for the suffering imposed by external reality. Perhaps this is the only choice we have in the context of suffering. Perhaps virtue based discipline holds the keys to freedom from suffering.

the frequency of truth

Contemplating the frequency of truth. The closer one attunes and operates to a frequency of pure truth, the more effectively one may intuitively recognize truth in all things beyond deductive perception. There appears a strong positive correlation between individual embodiment of the frequency of truth and enhanced connection and cooperation within a family, tribe, and society therefore effecting enhanced positive outcomes for those connected. Operating on the frequency of truth reduces the necessity to expend resources on feelings of mistrust and/or discerning lies.

Integrity might be described as one’s ability to hold the frequency of truth regardless of personal experience, gain, or loss. Imagine the efficiency of a governing body that operated on the maximal frequency of truth, one that does not require oversight, regulation, and internal investigations. Perhaps a governing body operating on this level of truth feels impossible, but it remains important to visualize this idealistic end so that we recognize the directional back azimuth allowing forward movement in our own path of integrity within our personal experiences and daily lives.

Truth is the vector of communication between generations of humans that will never meet in person, separated by time. A new generation’s advantages or disadvantages in the reality they(we) are thrust into with zero knowledge of where they(we) came from, who they(we) are, and why they(we) are here. These prospective advantages/disadvantages are contingent on the fidelity of informational truth passed from previous generations prior to them(us). Each generation will stand on the foundational truths and stumble on the inaccuracies passed to us by our forbearers. We owe the future generations beyond our children the highest fidelity of truth we can afford. Those generations are us.

The natural world cannot lie. Only humans hold the ability to speak untruth, to lie. Consider for a moment the importance of the responsibility that implies to humans as stewards to this garden planet, holding the power to create or destroy material reality in synergistic connection with our thoughts, will, and action. The responsibility to choose to tell truths or lies to each other and thus future generations to come; the responsibility to cooperate and create or lie and destroy. When I contemplate the frequency of truth in this context, it feels like perhaps the most significant effort an individual can undertake.

greenest white belt

I am about ¾ through the book A Mans Search for Meaning. It has been refreshing and meaningful to consider the author’s perspective based in his experience, and the thoughts generated from that experience. I’ve heard it said that we, in America, are living in a crisis of comfort, continually seeking the next dopamine hit without consideration to whether the action serves or pervades who we want to become. It feels cognitively dissonant to be surrounded by more entertainment, luxury, and comfort than most of the humans that have ever existed and still feel so shitty in the day to day. I suppose that is the point of the book though, that understanding our individual meaningful purpose is the beginning to creating the opportunity for contentment.

An aspect of A Mans Search for Meaning that stood out the most for me is the idea of the last human freedom. Paraphrasing from the book; the last human freedom is the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. It is this spiritual freedom that imbues meaningful purpose. Perhaps unconsciously I have understood this in variations of external circumstances of suffering, competition, and work. Some of us may even be a blackbelt at enduring physical suffering in the effort of prevailing and competition, however, it occurs to me that when the ops tempo slows and there is no “next most all important” training event, deployment, gear preparation, or recreationally fun time to be had, I find myself reaching for anything available to escape the time in stillness with myself. In this regard, internally, emotionally, I am a the greenest of white belts. Perhaps it is the white belt in emotional resiliency that is the source of unnamed anxiety.

This revelation is mildly horrifying to admit. There is a level of cognitive dissonance between my external “accomplishments” and my complete inability to regulate my time and emotions when I am out of the cycle of a necessary, high ops tempo loop. It is the insecure feeling of not being good at being myself when at rest or in an emotional confrontation that requires empathy and resiliency, where these external problem-solving skills have little use or meaning. Perhaps it is this discomfort that drives addiction. This is where the last human freedom enters the equation. I have been told many times over my life that I have a bad attitude or am in need of an attitude adjustment. I can hear the compilation of voices from my past saying “you need an attitude adjustment” in unison. Finally, after 42 years, I think it’s time for that to change. What the last of human freedoms means to me is the freedom to decide your attitude regardless of circumstances or feelings about the circumstances. It means I must seek every opportunity to cultivate a good attitude like it is its own virtue. I must start now and be relentless. I have a lot of making up to do.

old friend death

Thoughts of death. Thinking of how death is a portal that lay at the end of this reality for us. How jumping off through the portal promises true, novel mystery and adventure. Considering how we approach the idea of death within our conscious will imbue it with insidious, cold fear versus the possibility of a warming potential of challenge and discovery.

Thinking about shaping present moments to cultivate a mindset toward the latter. That if one actively diminishes the inklike permanence of death, it holds many similar characteristics of a vacation, a vacation from this reality we share. That like a vacation, one can get the most out of the experience by engaging with all the time, work, suffering, and success with presence and patience.

Thinking how I am not better or above any of this experience and that preparing spiritually in whatever way makes sense, is a worthy effort for what adventure could lay beyond death’s portal. Will it be uncomfortable? Yes. Perhaps the most uncomfortable. But I am resourced to handle it, and the more I prepare, the more I will get out of this one-time, novel experience. From this mindset, at least for me, it is not so frightening.

materially discontent

Feeling materially overwhelmed. Today I’m considering the people, ideas, systems, and unconscious beliefs we put our time and energy into. Our life force is energy, and consciousness is the aperture we perceive and manifest this reality through. Consciously or unconsciously, we use our focus, thought, and energy to surround ourselves with automated conveniences, luxury, and objects that come with the implied contract of a 40-hour work week away from our family, friends, tribe, nature and most importantly ourselves. Humans hold within a natural fire that compels us to learn and grow through exploration and challenge both within ourselves and externally in the world.  

Expending our energy through the vector of materialism in effort to “get ahead” with the end goal of surrounding ourselves with so much convenience and luxury that we will not have to “work” anymore or experience discomfort is a spiritual hamster wheel that will leave one feeling denatured from our spirit with feelings of empty dissatisfaction. Those who perceive themselves deficient in material lament their empty cabinets and envy other’s experience of luxury while those with excess material feel the anxiety of maintaining the space for their possessions, insurance to protect their valuables, and enough income to continue their luxury.

The source of discontent first comes from not taking the time to know ourselves; not taking the time to master being ourselves, which is the start-point of unravelling our predicament. Once we know ourselves, we can have a chance at deciphering our path in this mysterious reality from which we don’t know whence we came or where we are going at the end of this experience. The path is elusive and masked by the illusions and machinations of empire that seek to waste your energy and diminish our spirit so that we have no willpower to contend or resist their progression for power and control. Empire preys upon your gravity toward capitol vice and will allow you to complicitly enslave yourself to their offerings.

How do we disembark the invisible hamster wheel of self-enslavement and empire? We must put in the work to know ourselves, decipher our path, and realize that luxury weakens our spirit. It is through selfless work for others, and earnest effort toward self-growth which will lead us to our path. We must then traverse our path with the realization that work and discomfort experienced together are the true fortune and glory of this realm. It is these treasures that will change the way we feel about ourselves and the reality we exist in. These treasures will relieve the lonely discontent, replacing them with satisfied relief in the company of those we love and respect for having walked the difficult path together.

american nights

acid soaked thoughts run wild colts unchained

mains red, white, and blue ordained

tattooed and love stained

thought’s prism cosmic paint contained

electric consciousness floating in seas of change

-koz